Close Call

Last night, walking home from the bus stop I almost got hit by a car. That'll make you stop and take stock.

They were turning left. I was crossing University and the numbers were counting down but I had plenty of time to cross before the light turned red, so I was quickly making my way through the crosswalk. About halfway through, I look up and see this car coming towards me. I lock eyes with the driver and she looks shocked. It was one of those moments that happen really fast, but those few seconds expand in your mind so it feels like a lot longer. The car ended up stopping a few feet away from me and I just kept hustling to get out of the middle of the road. At first I was just indignant about the whole thing. What was she doing driving into me when I had the right of way? And my first thought after that one was: this cannot happen right now; I have an album to finish. As I continued walking home it slowly hit me that my evening could've just taken a very difficult turn. 

I was listening to Radiohead on my headphones and the song Videotape came on. It's a song about leaving a videotape to say goodbye to the people you love after you've died. It's one of my favorite Radiohead songs, just beautiful. I don't know if it was the song, or the stress, or the thoughts running through my head that I could be in an ambulance on my way to the hospital right now, but I found that there were tears streaming down my face. It's always so strange to be passing people on the street when you are openly crying. You feel like it's so obvious, but it was dark and most people aren't paying much attention to the other people they pass on the street so it's not likely they'll notice.

When I got home I lay down in bed and let myself cry for a while. I'd actually been in a funky mood all week so it felt good to let out some pent up emotion. Once I'd calmed down I started thinking about how thankful I was that the woman driving the car saw me and was able to stop in time. I thought about how everything for RISE is coming together so easily and beautifully. I thought about how thankful I am to have this project in my life that makes me really clear that I do not want to go anywhere.

Sometimes I think of myself cradled in the palms of God’s hands. It’s a very comforting image. It reminds me that everything there is to think about, it’s already been considered. This path has been laid out for me long before I was even strong enough to powerfully choose it, and everything is going to be all right no matter what happens.

I do believe that. Even if that car had hit me last night, somehow things would’ve worked out. But, thankfully, that wasn’t the plan.

Today we’re going to be sorting out string parts for a bunch of songs. Recently we’ve been finalizing some horn arrangements that are sounding so amazing! I need to start inventing adjectives to describe how wonderful they are… stupendincredifabulous. There you go. Gotta get going now. More from me later. Thanks for reading and I’m so glad to be writing to you with all of my limbs intact from the comfort of my home instead of laid up in some hospital bed. Phew!